“We harm our kids and lose their trust if we react to conflict by chastising them.” Katharina Saalfrank
“Go to your room!”, mobile phone and computer bans, “Stop that or else….”: such punishments and their consequences have remained part and parcel of parents’ child-raising tactics and have been recommended by many an expert. Whether you’re trying to get them to tidy their room or do their homework, what works in the short-term can have harmful consequences in the long-term as punishment breeds humiliation, rejection, loss of trust and allows power struggles to poison family relationships.
In this book, well-known educator Katarina Saalfrank explains why a relationship and esteem-based approach to engaging with children makes punishment superfluous. The author draws on a series of day-to-day experiences with children in the independence to puberty stage to explore alternative methods. She grapples with the world of feelings of both parents and children and explains how positive relationships and communication make an alternative approach to stressful situations possible.